SABOTAGE!

I’m having a terrible time staying focused with my eye on that prize weight of 199 (first big goal)

I want nothing more than to reach my 10% goal weight of 199 in the next few months. So why do I keep sabotaging myself???

I lost 3.6 pounds not last week but the week before making me 210. Then, I weighed myself this morning and I weighed 214! WHAT! WHYYYY!

I know why, really. I can tell you why in fact. I haven’t exercised since last week, I haven’t been planning ahead, I haven’t been careful and I’ve gotten a lot of candy/chocolate and they were really good.

So, I know why and I suppose that’s the first step. And for the most part I have tracked everything and you can tell by my tracking that I’ve clearly done a terrible job at eating well this week.

The husband hasn’t really been watching either. I’m hoping for us to sit down tonight and go over some of the plan together and work on measuring everything we cook tonight so he can really see portion sizes as well as remind me of portions.

I also want to throw away any candy in the house. I had enough! I don’t need anymore! My desk at work is free of it except for some candy canes but they’re not appealing to me. They’re for visitors.

I know that a large part of my sabotaging is due to living with Grandma. She’ll make us dinner and she’s old school, southern cooking. Lots of butter, adds sugar to things that don’t need sugar (like spaghetti and chili) and doesn’t see the need to make things healthy..she focuses on taste.

Well, last night she made chili. It tasted GREAT but I didn’t need to top it with cheese and crackers and I definately could’ve had a smaller portion of the spaghetti noodles and had more chili which is more protein. But, I didn’t. WHY! I was in a good mood and it was there and yummy and, oh, I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

Grandma made dinner because she thought it would be nice for us to not have to cook dinner after a full day at work. It is nice. I am SO thankful for her. And I can eat these things, I just need to figure out what is better and measure these out.

We’re looking at a place tonight that we hope might be the place we move to in the next month or so. I know that once we move out it’ll get a little easier.

As long as my husband can get on board even further with me it’ll be really easy. And, if he doesn’t that’s fine. I’ll figure it out.

I have to figure it out. I need to lose weight and become a healthier person. I have so much to do in life and I can’t be worried about my health as much!

I need some motivation but I am so not looking forward to going to my meeting this week and seeing the number on the scale jump back up.

My plan for tonight is to go home and take a look at the things in the kitchen. I’m going to make my lunch and get rid of any food in the house I don’t need/want and then work with EJ on things we can change together.

I KNOW I can do this but it’s going to take time and effort.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s