Rough week.

I’ve been having a rough week. I knew at last week’s weigh in that it would be up a little. I wasn’t wearing my usual weigh in clothes and since I had been sick I wasn’t doing my usual best.

This week has been about the same. I haven’t been tracking religiously, we’ve been really busy and every time I’ve gone to the gym this week it’s been very difficult. I haven’t been able to keep up with the pace I’ve been doing. I’m assuming this is from not exercising the week before because I was sick.

So I think I’m up another pound. I’m hoping to track everything today and go to the gym this evening and go to my meeting tomorrow morning for a fresh start. Though, I really feel like I could use a nap.

In other news, I made some more spinach fruit smoothies but didn’t have yogurt, so I didn’t think it would matter much but my husband, who has had one so far said, yes, it matters. It was too thick and not sweet at all. So, I froze the ones I made and will pick up some yogurt tonight and when they thaw i’ll blend in some yogurt and hopefully that helps.

I’m hoping to have a good weekend and hoping I can sleep in on Sunday. I feel really tired today!

BUSY BUSY BUSY!

I’ve been so busy with SO much that I haven’t had time to blog, let alone, eat well and exercise regularly lately. I NEED to though. I’m not stupid.

Why does it have to be so difficult for me.

Work is chaos because one of the girls on my team is leaving any day now for maternity leave and I’ll be absorbing a lot of her duties while she is gone.

Life is chaos because I’ve been taking a lot of photos and shadowing a couple really awesome photographers to learn more.

Though, I’m going to make a conscious effort today to track my food and watch what I’m eating. If my feet feel ok this evening I will go to the gym.

We went to Kings Island with work yesterday and my sandals rubbed the soles of my feet and they burn bad. It’s not fun at all.

Motivation and words of encouragement needed and welcomed.

Need routine in my life again!

Things have been chaos lately. With us moving and the house in disaray. My evenings have consisted of dinner and cleaning/organizing. Now, don’t get me wrong, I LOVE to organize. It’s weird. I love creating places for everything now that I have the space to do so. (I did not enjoy organizing, living with family, as I had nowhere to put anything/organize..my husband will attest to this.)

Anyways, I’m not tracking and I’m not exercising (although if you consider all the lifting and up and down stairs I’ve been doing unpacking then maybe…). I am eager to get back on track.

In fact, I’m so excited to go grocery shopping this weekend for the next week. Why? Because I know that the only food I will be eating is what I buy, bring home and cook. There will be NO outside influence on what I’m eating. As much as I love Grandma and her cooking. Let’s be honest, it’s NOT very healthy. It was hard to come home and if she had made dinner to resist for several reasons. I didn’t want to upset her because I know she worked hard to make us food and it smelled DELICIOUS!

My friend Pam told me to give Aldi’s a try this week as they have some new healthy food lines. So, I am. My goal is to buy enough food for the week for as cheap as I possibly can.

I’m also excited to be able to get back into an exercise routine in the evenings. I miss that energy it gives me in the morning. In fact, there’s a planet fitnes gym about a 3 minute drive from my home. I’m going to go on Saturday morning and check it out. $10 a month. I can handle that! Worthy cause too!

I will also go to weight watchers on Saturday morning. My leader is fabulous. She keeps me motivated and excited. My meetings give me hope that I can do this. I know I can, I just need to stop making excuses and stop worrying about other things and people and focus on me.

I am not losing weight to be pretty (I mean, I’m already gorgeous!) I need to lose weight because I have polycystic ovarian syndrome and losing weight will help with that, and be better when I’m ready to try and have a baby.
I’m losing weight because I have high blood pressure.
I need to exercise to help me have more energy, feel better about myself and help my blood pressure.
I’m changing my eating habits because I don’t want heart disease!

I KNOW I can do this! I keep this quote on my desktop for me to see at all times:

No matter what you think, no matter how you feel, the truth is you CAN do this!

SABOTAGE!

I’m having a terrible time staying focused with my eye on that prize weight of 199 (first big goal)

I want nothing more than to reach my 10% goal weight of 199 in the next few months. So why do I keep sabotaging myself???

I lost 3.6 pounds not last week but the week before making me 210. Then, I weighed myself this morning and I weighed 214! WHAT! WHYYYY!

I know why, really. I can tell you why in fact. I haven’t exercised since last week, I haven’t been planning ahead, I haven’t been careful and I’ve gotten a lot of candy/chocolate and they were really good.

So, I know why and I suppose that’s the first step. And for the most part I have tracked everything and you can tell by my tracking that I’ve clearly done a terrible job at eating well this week.

The husband hasn’t really been watching either. I’m hoping for us to sit down tonight and go over some of the plan together and work on measuring everything we cook tonight so he can really see portion sizes as well as remind me of portions.

I also want to throw away any candy in the house. I had enough! I don’t need anymore! My desk at work is free of it except for some candy canes but they’re not appealing to me. They’re for visitors.

I know that a large part of my sabotaging is due to living with Grandma. She’ll make us dinner and she’s old school, southern cooking. Lots of butter, adds sugar to things that don’t need sugar (like spaghetti and chili) and doesn’t see the need to make things healthy..she focuses on taste.

Well, last night she made chili. It tasted GREAT but I didn’t need to top it with cheese and crackers and I definately could’ve had a smaller portion of the spaghetti noodles and had more chili which is more protein. But, I didn’t. WHY! I was in a good mood and it was there and yummy and, oh, I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

Grandma made dinner because she thought it would be nice for us to not have to cook dinner after a full day at work. It is nice. I am SO thankful for her. And I can eat these things, I just need to figure out what is better and measure these out.

We’re looking at a place tonight that we hope might be the place we move to in the next month or so. I know that once we move out it’ll get a little easier.

As long as my husband can get on board even further with me it’ll be really easy. And, if he doesn’t that’s fine. I’ll figure it out.

I have to figure it out. I need to lose weight and become a healthier person. I have so much to do in life and I can’t be worried about my health as much!

I need some motivation but I am so not looking forward to going to my meeting this week and seeing the number on the scale jump back up.

My plan for tonight is to go home and take a look at the things in the kitchen. I’m going to make my lunch and get rid of any food in the house I don’t need/want and then work with EJ on things we can change together.

I KNOW I can do this but it’s going to take time and effort.