Because, I am awesome!

Last week I had a day where I was surrounded by negativity. SO much negativity I could feel my heart being squeezed and my aggravation towards everything was growing by the minute. It was terrible! At one point I even shouted at everyone to be quiet because I was so overwhelmed. I don’t know how people can live their lives each day surrounded by so much negativity and the need to make others feel small and feel that what they know is all wrong.

I was told that the only way to lose weight is to get diet pills. I was told I could lose 30lbs in a month. But everything I know, tells me that’s not healthy.
I was told that with diet pills I could keep eating the way I wanted. But I know I can’t because my cholesterol and triglycerides won’t change then!
I was told I couldn’t afford to have kids. But, I know we’d find a way.

I felt SO defeated that day and the next because of this. I felt miserable and that everything I was trying to accomplish wasn’t worth it.

But I have amazing friends and people I can count on when I need a boost.

Rachel reminded me I’m losing weight the healthy way.
Liz tells me I’m awesome.
Sheryl tells me I inspire her.

When someone tells you that you inspire them, it makes you feel so amazing. If I’m inspiring my sister, I can’t stop now! I have to keep going!

So, this week I’m thankful for my amazing friends and family. I’m proud of the 10lbs I’ve lost since January and proud that I haven’t given up yet.

I’m determined to get healthy, and when I go to the DR on May 1st, that scale will reflect the positive changes I’m making and I can only hope I’ve done enough to make positive changes in my bloodwork as well.

I’m here to tell you, that you can do ANYTHING you put your mind to. Jenny Bomb is Losing it

I know I can lose weight and I’m not giving up.
I know we will have a child when we’re ready and we’ll figure it out.
I know my photography business is going to be great and I’ll figure that out too.

BECAUSE I AM AWESOME!

 

 

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I’m BAAAACK!

So, for the past 10 months I tried to do it alone and I failed. I admit it. I can’t lose weight on my own.

A few things to share:

  • I’ve started a new job and I love it. I love the place, the company, the people and the job itself.
  • I’ve gained all the weight I lost, back. I weighed 223.8 at weigh in on Saturday.
  • I’ve learned I can’t lose weight on my own, I need support and lots of it.
  • I’ve grown SO much with my photography skills and am on my way to being a great contender!

So, let me tell you the kick in the pants this time. I’ve started a new job and I love it. So, on Halloween I dressed up as Minnie Mouse and thought I looked cute. But lately, I’ve started to really notice how much weight I’ve gained. I was in the break room and one of my co-workers asked if I was pregnant. There is no good way to tell him so I just said “No, I’m just big. I’ve gained some weight recently and it all unfortunately sits in my belly.” I could tell he was mortified and he tried to cover and I told him not to worry. I walked back to my desk, cried, threw out the plate of food I had just gotten from the break room and promptly went to http://www.WeightWatchers.com and signed up again.

I cried and was talking to my husband and told him I really need him to support me.

In the past 10 months I’ve learned that just by having a gym membership it does me no good. I need support. I need people to encourage me and people to pick me up when I’m down and tell me to keep going. And going to weight watchers meetings gives me that. I also have my sister and my mom and a few friends. My sister is definitely my biggest cheerleader. I’m so thankful for her.

So, here we go again, I’m hoping this is it. This time I will follow through!

 

SABOTAGE!

I’m having a terrible time staying focused with my eye on that prize weight of 199 (first big goal)

I want nothing more than to reach my 10% goal weight of 199 in the next few months. So why do I keep sabotaging myself???

I lost 3.6 pounds not last week but the week before making me 210. Then, I weighed myself this morning and I weighed 214! WHAT! WHYYYY!

I know why, really. I can tell you why in fact. I haven’t exercised since last week, I haven’t been planning ahead, I haven’t been careful and I’ve gotten a lot of candy/chocolate and they were really good.

So, I know why and I suppose that’s the first step. And for the most part I have tracked everything and you can tell by my tracking that I’ve clearly done a terrible job at eating well this week.

The husband hasn’t really been watching either. I’m hoping for us to sit down tonight and go over some of the plan together and work on measuring everything we cook tonight so he can really see portion sizes as well as remind me of portions.

I also want to throw away any candy in the house. I had enough! I don’t need anymore! My desk at work is free of it except for some candy canes but they’re not appealing to me. They’re for visitors.

I know that a large part of my sabotaging is due to living with Grandma. She’ll make us dinner and she’s old school, southern cooking. Lots of butter, adds sugar to things that don’t need sugar (like spaghetti and chili) and doesn’t see the need to make things healthy..she focuses on taste.

Well, last night she made chili. It tasted GREAT but I didn’t need to top it with cheese and crackers and I definately could’ve had a smaller portion of the spaghetti noodles and had more chili which is more protein. But, I didn’t. WHY! I was in a good mood and it was there and yummy and, oh, I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

Grandma made dinner because she thought it would be nice for us to not have to cook dinner after a full day at work. It is nice. I am SO thankful for her. And I can eat these things, I just need to figure out what is better and measure these out.

We’re looking at a place tonight that we hope might be the place we move to in the next month or so. I know that once we move out it’ll get a little easier.

As long as my husband can get on board even further with me it’ll be really easy. And, if he doesn’t that’s fine. I’ll figure it out.

I have to figure it out. I need to lose weight and become a healthier person. I have so much to do in life and I can’t be worried about my health as much!

I need some motivation but I am so not looking forward to going to my meeting this week and seeing the number on the scale jump back up.

My plan for tonight is to go home and take a look at the things in the kitchen. I’m going to make my lunch and get rid of any food in the house I don’t need/want and then work with EJ on things we can change together.

I KNOW I can do this but it’s going to take time and effort.